Imagine you are pregnant, you really want to buy pink dresses and have a girlfriend you can teach to bake cookies. Somewhere amid the 2nd trimester you find out it is a boy, and you are saddened. Sure you want a healthy baby and are grateful, but you are disappointed. This is called “gender disappointment” and was highlighted via an article on MSNBC today. Apparently it is quite common but folks don’t talk about it because it seems petty and embarrassing.
I have to admit this is something on my mind. I was just talking to a close friend about this topic yesterday before I knew “experts” had given it a name. I am grateful I am pregnant and everything appears healthy so far. I feel petty in wanting more than a healthy baby, but I do have a preference. I wish I could be an easy-going yogini that was happy with everything the world tossed her way, but no, I am human and have my little quirks and that easy-going yogini is just a myth.
My girlfriend told me not to feel ashamed to have a preference. She said I should openly ask the universe for what I want. She also says she knows I will be a good mother who unconditionally loves her child no matter what sex it is. I still can’t reconcile my want for a specific sex at this time with the knowledge of how fortunate I am to be carrying a viable fetus in the first place. I can’t let it go either.
Ahem, hello universe, you know my preference, please take that into consideration. I won’t be upset (for very long) if I don’t get what I want. That is all.
**Robin Elise Weiss at about.com just referred me to this piece with nearly 100 women sharing their gender disappointment stories. And for the record, I was a case of gender disappointment for my parents. They were told I was going to be a boy all along. I was born a girl, they couldn’t even name me for three days since they were so shocked/shaken.
I hope there will be a time when all things in the world are equal.