the good, the bad, the horrible of yesterday’s visit

I try to keep my Tuesday posts for purely positive messages I write about my pregnancy. I did not share all of what happened at the perinatal center… just the ultrasound images. So here is what happened.

THE GOOD

The baby is mostly healthy from what they could tell. My big concern was the heart function and what could be detected at this time and it was good. The baby is proportioned and even took a piss between the sonographer’s viewing and the doctor’s viewing.

The doctor did not have a copy of our 8-week ultrasound but hubby did on his phone. When he handed it over the doctor paused from the medical jargon to say, “is this the new droid?” And I had to tell the doc he could talk tech after the appointment, I needed him to keep his focus. It was a funny moment in the appointment.

THE BAD

Since I was getting an echocardiogram and dealing with a perinatal specialist I had to go to a high-risk clinic that deals with high-risk situations. It was a complete 180 from my experience with my midwife. The people were kind and comforting in their own way but they definitely deal with their patients from a place of fear. I mean they have to deal from a worst-case scenario angle to best help their regular patients and protect themselves from liability. They mildly chastised us for not having a quad-screen or amnio (um hello, we are not high-risk). So here are the two things they commented on:

1. The baby had a kidney that looked a little dialated. When they are above 7 (I have no idea what the measurement unit is) there is an issue. My babe was at 4. So they made an appointment for me to come back at 32 weeks. If the baby has a kidney issue I will take him/her to a periurologist after I give birth for ultrasound treatments.

2. The baby was measuring large. This is a red flag for gestational diabetes and the doctor questioned my diabetes history (which I had a blood screen done the month before we conceived at a pre-conception check-up and have never been diagnosed for it). He wants me to do a glucose challenge test but I cannot do it due to my sugar cane allergy. So he suggests 3 blood draws during one week to check my levels.

GOOD NEWS ABOUT THE BAD

Naturally I was a little freaked leaving the perinatal clinic. The baby is mostly healthy but I will take any “but’s” serioulsy! I went and read a gestational diabetes book by the American Diabetes Association, felt horrible for drinking juice in the last 2 weeks to build my immune system up, etc.

Then I get home to a message from my midwife who had a report faxed to her from the clinic… she is ecstatic about my results and says she will talk to me later if I have any questions.

Um hello, yeah I have questions… how is she so excited while I am wondering if I am harming my child? So she lets me know that there is a note about the kidneys where the doctor states that he does not think there is any abnormality but the 32 week ultrasound is simply a liability precaution. There really is no recommendation for me to keep that appointment. And she jumps on me when I told her I had already read a GD book because she does not think I have it… and simple racially-based variations cover the spread of the baby’s size. Um, really. So the bad isn’t so bad?

We may up my omega-3s but my diet won’t change much from what it is doing right now if I do have GD. I’ll do 1-2 servings max of fruit a day (drinking juice really has been a fluke due to boosting my immunity). We will most likely do a few blood draws during a week but she is not concerned and told me not to stress over this.

THE HORRIBLE

Now this is horrible and my own damn fault and not the fault of the clinic. I peeked. The sonographer does a series of over 250 measurements during the anatomy survey and when doing pelvic girdle and femur measurements I learned the sex. I ruined my own surprise. When the doctor went for the money shot I didn’t turn my eyes… I already knew. My husband did not see but knew I knew. I asked the clinic to write the sex on a paper we could take. They put it on a nice note card and sealed it in an envelope. I already knew but looked and had my hubby look. I essentially ruined his surprise too because I am a horrible person. We are thrilled though and not sharing.

We still want people to have a gender neutral attitude towards our babe. No inundation of pink or blue. No biased intentions when around me and my bump. I did tell my midwife I peaked and she is disappointed in me but glad we aren’t making an announcement to the world. We did tell my midwife, doula, dad, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, and my BFFs who don’t live anywhere near me. We will not be telling the twitterverse, IRL friends in our community, and internet. So I guess you all have a ways to go to find out if you are interested.

I feel horrible for learning, and hope I do not put much gender-related pressure on our baby now as I continue to carry him/her. My husband and I made a pact with each other to put each other in check if we get carried away with gender-related stereotypes. We agreed a long time ago if we had a girl she would have a fun tool-kit in her arsenal of toys and if we had a boy he would have an awesome play kitchen. Both of these are essential toys to both sexes in our opinions.