On Thursday I took my gestational diabetes (GD) test. I passed with flying colors. Instead of drinking Glucola my midwife opted for me to do a “real food” test only because of my sugar cane allergy. I fasted 12 hours, did a blood test with a glucometer, had a reading of 70, went to a little cafe and had 2 hearty, whole grain kid-sized pancakes, real maple syrup, an egg, and a large fresh squeezed OJ. 2 hours after I finished this I did another glucometer reading, 95.
I thought that was it, I passed my test with flying colors even though that was a lot of syrup and juice that I am not used to consuming. It wasn’t.
Click here to read more
Apparently the doctor I saw for the echocardiogram had concerns about the size of the baby’s head. This really pissed me off since while at the exam when I was told the baby was measuring large I asked specifically if the head was proportion to the rest of the baby’s body and the doctor said yes, it was. I was precise with my language during the visit. So it came as a not so pleasant surprise to me when I am sitting next to my midwife and getting ready to leave and she has a glucometer ready for me to take home. She consulted with the doctor and he told her the head was not proportion to the body. They had planned for me to take this thing home and record my blood glucose 4x/day. However, given my readings around my breakfast my midwife asked if I would record 2x/day for only 3 days. She thinks my blood glucose levels are fine (and they have been low with the home recording too).
I spent part of the day shaken, and frustrated by not knowing who to believe. I did not react against my midwife or doctor because lets face it, I still had some sugar coursing through me from breakfast. I was in a foul mood though. I was angry at the car radio playing stupid songs and dumb NPR news. I was bitchy towards my husband, who was also frustrated with the inconsistencies we were hearing from our medical team. I was not in a happy joy-joy place even though I passed my GD exam with flying colors.
So the day just continued to go to shit from there. I thought I lost my purse, which thankfully I left at a friend’s house. And I got some surprising news from a friend that may have distracted me into leaving my purse at her house. She let me know she was pregnant. Her and her partner will be having a baby in August. For many people this is an amazing joy to be celebrated and her partner is ecstatic. However I know her and I know this was not planned and I am concerned for her. She will make an outstanding mother, but she is not at a point of embracing this pregnancy yet. She is still in shock. I wanted to hug and cry with her but it was inappropriate to do so in front of our guys at that time. I tried to joke around and keep it light when I found out but I did make her cry for a few minutes.
That was my craptastic Thursday. I did not cry once which is surprising. It was emotionally the most taxing day of my pregnancy though. I figured I would sleep on it and hopefully get some clarity when I woke up.
All I can say is thank goodness for Fridays. First I found my purse. Second I came up with a course of action to find out what the hell is going on with my medical team… I am going to talk to the doctor on the phone to find out why inconsistent information was given to me and my midwife from his mouth. I also thought about why I was so frustrated and realized that my trust is a little shaken with my midwife right now the way this information came down, and I can’t have that since we will be doing a home birth. I NEED to be in a 100% place again with her and the medical aspects of this pregnancy. I am not mad at her though, I just want some consistency. And finally I had a chance to spend some time with my girlfriend sans the guys around and I got to cry with her and let her know it is o.k. not be in the most positive place about a surprise pregnancy right now. Though it was not my process it is a realistic process that many women face.
And now it is Saturday. I am glad I did not lose my cool on Thursday. The place I still feel a little guilty is being a jerk to my husband. I didn’t curse him out or anything but I was visibly upset, short in how I spoke to him, and distracted on Thursday. He says he forgives me but I think a heavy dose of TLC this weekend would be nice anyway.
**Just some follow-up. I do not have gestational diabetes. My midwife and I talked this morning. Her and the doctor have ruled out macrosomy issues related to the head. It is not disproportion to the body. I am feeling better about Thursday’s visit and glad I had the chance to clear the air with her. She understands why I didn’t vent my frustration at the appointment… I didn’t want to go off the deep-end with the elevated sugar in my blood.
Aww, honey, I'm sorry you had a craptastic day. First of all, I'm happy your glucose testing went well. That's very important. Second, you need to talk to your medical team and let them know that you need them to be clear and up front about everything ~ no surprises. You are pregnant and hormonal (sorry, I hate that word but can't think of a better one right off hand) so they should be understanding. This is about your comfort, not theirs. And, last, I was not one of those women who was thrilled with any of my pregnancies (I was on the pill but there's a whole story to that) but after the babies were born, I could not have fallen more in love than any mother who had planned her pregnancies. Support your friend and let her know that you are there for her (I know you know that already). Love and hugs.
I'm sorry you had such a bad day. Hopefully you can get everything set straight soon. It's so important to trust our care providers.
Aww Kia I'm sorry to hear about an awful day. Sounds like with time you have been able to process it all well and are taking good steps with the stuff you still need to address. I hope that you can feel that 100% trust with your doc & midwife and that everything with baby is easygoing from here on out!
PS – you have a couple blog awards at my blog…come on over and pick 'em up! http://makingoverme.blogspot.com/2010/03/what-week.html