I have a dear friend who was taking a stroll with me when I was riding an emo-wave in September. He broke it down for me how he thought I was mean when he first met me and that I was judging him.
We got stuck on that word for a while… judging. Judging is such a nasty, as-a-matter-of-fact way of seeing how ugly you really are. When I am in a low place I know I am judgmental because I am more out of balance than usual. Judging, eeek. It is a reality check.
I saw an awesome quote that summed out how I feel about it recently
Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.~unknown
In discussing being mean and judgments with my friend I told him I grew up as an observer and then was trained as a biologist. I observe and then cogni1tively work with my observations for logic constructs. He then spit out the word we both felt worked for me perfectly. Discerning. I am not the kind of person to judge you and create cold cemented opinions based on a few interactions – but I will keep observing you as I interact with you and look for the good.
And as far as this friend – when I first met him I was so smitten I was trying to play it cool so I did not scare him off. Maybe I played it too cool. However, now that I know Levar I still get smitten.