It feels like such a time of renewal. My son was born almost 8 weeks ago and tonight I am headed to my first yoga class as a student in what feels like forever. It feels like a time of possibilities. Tonight is a diverse event that travels every month to another location in our city. Tonight and this month it is at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. I have taught for this event before at another nature/science institution so it almost feels like a safe haven for me to practice with.
Since my son was born I have been on my mat for gentle cat/cow and other restorative work. My midwife green lit me to get back to a regular practice with modifications at 6 weeks post-partum. Last week was standing asanas and boy is my body weak with little endurance. The poses almost feel new since my current body is unfamiliar.
My goal tonight is to experience in gentle bliss. I have no need to tax my midline or abdomen. I have no one to compete with. I have to become acquainted with this physical form right here as it recovers in ebbs and flows from carrying a baby, surgery, and now taking care of two children.
My husband is going with me. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. The two of us have not taken a yoga class together since we lived in Miami more than five years ago.
It has been three weeks since I had my son. You can scroll to see the birth story. For the purpose of this post all you need to know is that things did not go my way. I did not have a successful home birth again. We got super close, thought we would be 30 minutes from a baby in the living room but that did not happen. Baby was breech, I was taken to the hospital and I was cut open. My insides are currently healing like a Tetris game and I am o.k. with it. I hope I continue to be o.k. with it. Sure it sucks but I am very healthy and healing much better than I or anyone else thought I would be. My babe is doing great. Life is not so bad. Wah! I didn’t get my way, but that is o.k.
I wish I could be this accepting of life when I do not get my way with other things. Non-attachment.
First off I forgot to mention to this group about Ignite Fitness and Fitbloggin. There is a blogger conference in Portland, OR this June and I organize the Ignite Fitness keynote event where you speak for 5 minutes with 20 auto-advancing slides about something you are passionate about. I have done a yoga and tech talk to an 850-person audience before with this format and would love to invite #365yoga people to apply if you are anywhere near Oregon or curious about the conference. If picked you earn a full-conference pass for your participation. Click here to apply, but hurry submissions close tomorrow.
That up there is my pitch to you all, this down here is some display of my ego. I am officially on maternity leave and gave up my classes over a week ago. At this point I am only emergency subbing if I feel rested and up to it. This baby is due any day. I also did not make plans to resume classes, I figured I woud start slowly on sub lists once I felt comfy with my body and a new baby at home.
Well I have been a little irked at giving up classes because apparently my ego has not fully let go. I instructed a prenatal class I really developed and was irritated that a competing teacher decided to teach another prenatal class 3 hours prior to the one I led in the last 6 months at the same studio. Then she moved her class to within 2 hours of my class and started sniping my students. I say sniping because I subbed her class one day and there were some of my students who expressed to me they thought the class was moved to an earlier time because of my pregnancy. Le sigh. I let it go and was fine with giving her all Friday class business as I got ready for the baby. I gave this notice over a month ago.
Well she up and decided to quit doing Friday classes to coincide with my leave. The Friday class I taught then went to someone who has subbed for me before. I am fine with that because I feel she is a capable instructor. Then I get a blanket email the other night with other instructors asking us to sub her class and that it should be worth our time since she has developed such a large following for this day. Um, she just took over this class 2 weeks ago and it appears to be the same number of following I developed. Grrrr. See ego. Also, she mentions it as “her” class as if you can have ownership over something like that. Once again… my ego.
There has been other studio politics that have bugged me. For example at another studio there was a time slot I really wanted and an instructor was giving that slot up and I told her I wanted it. She said no since I would be going on maternity leave a few months later. She gave it to someone else – and that person has recently asked for someone to take it over because she realized she had been overextending herself and picking up too many classes. Grrrrr, again.
I am way too pregnant these days to be patient with studio politics. I am also cognizant that my ego needs to be removed from this equation and that I’ll be ready to jump back in “the game” (and it is a game) when I am ready at some undetermined time in the future. For now I really do need to do some Pali-focused breath on letting go… and let it go already. For the moment I am no longer a yoga teacher.
This has been a pretty stellar week. The midwife appointment on Monday went very well with talk of my weight gain (there is a chance I may hit a 20 lb ceiling… not holding my breath but a chance). My strength is coming back – a lot of you were very kind with this quick snow pic I posted on Thursday during a computer work break with my husband. I posted the others on a previous blog post.
I just need to increase my cardiovascular endurance if I can. Overall my health is doing great.
Then the weekend came and I can be a BAD girl. On Friday I taught back to back yoga classes for the first time since I got sick and was a little wiped. It was overall a long yoga day. On Saturday my toddler did not have gymnastics due to his gym having a competition at that time so we did a long, slow brunch at our fave New Orleans restaurant followed by a long stroll at the zoo. I then went to hang with a girlfriend (but packed my toothbrush) to overhaul her kitchen and pantry, meal plan, and get her on track to a new eating lifestyle in reaction to some random health things going on in her life. I spent the night and it was a fun pajama jammy jam where I ditched my guys. In the a.m. I met up with a big group of girlfriends who I love dearly that have really had my back this pregnancy before coming back home to get ready for a baby party also filled with so much kindness and warmth. The best is that I ditched my family for an overnighter at the spur of the moment to get silly with a good friend and that I knew my family would be fine without me.
After the baby party my fave running group met for a kick-off coffee shop discussion about the training plans and ideas for the season including goal-setting with some of our races. I told them I am approaching 2013 with a mindful, beginner’s path with this pregnancy wrapping up but will be happy to run support with my baby in tow for some fo their races. I have three races on my plate but with the expectation of taking it slow and adaptively managing with a new kiddo and post-partum body.
Right now – I am feeling good. I am sleepy. My body is a little sore from not taking it too easy this weekend. I am gonna eat some sensible food in a few (steak, greens, sweet potatoes) then take a long bath before crashing out. The best feeling is gratitude for support structures I have in place with supportive friends that include athletes, parents, and some over-the-top giggly, girl-power girlfriends.
Life is good… and don’t even ask how sweet my husband has been to me as we are in the home stretch of this pregnancy. I am grateful. Namaste <— really look at this word and sincerely take it as I hope you are also experiencing the blessings in your life
The pneumonia recovery is going SO WELL! Today I took a little break from working indoors and went out for a quick photo shoot outside with my husband for some of the Yoga A Day prompts from this week. You already saw these if you follow my instagram and facebook feed but I took them all to finally have something to participate with in the #365Yoga challenge after quite a hiatus.
33/34 weeks pregnant, feeling groovy – prepping for a joyous birth
That is the toddler in the background, in his room with dad making a ruckus as dad is telling him to hush as I am vlogging. LOL!
My big priority is a mindful balance this week to strengthen and engage in cardio while recovering from pneumonia. Above all I need to be pragmatic to increase my health baseline as I am in the home-stretch of this pregnancy. I am going for another home birth so maximizing any bit of health I have is important. This could be sleeping every chance I get, this could be wall sits and plank, this could be TRX and slowing going through a standing yoga series. I have never had pneumonia before, especially with the consideration of being this pregnant at the same time. This week will be a lot of mindful checking in with my body to see where I am and where I can best aid my recovery.
This feels like a crunch week to joyously walk that road of nutrition, movement, rest, hydration, and above all keeping a positive but realistic attitude of what my actions are doing. Thank you to everyone that has been checking in on me via Facebook and other mediums, your kind thoughts have been greatly appreciated.
I wish you all a good week as you deal with the crud and funk in your neck of the woods.
Also, slap me. I just registered for my first post-partum half-marathon of the year (10 Aug). I know, I know. It was such a good deal and I am fine with walking if my body is not ready for it.